December 12, 2008

Somewhere in the Atlantic

A voice with nothing better to do keeps saying “lost at sea” inside my head… here I am on a 7 day transatlantic crossing, scheduled to arrive in Miami on December 18th, umm, apparently going a little crazy. It’s the second full day at sea, and I’m already quite sick of it (luckily not as literally as I’ve been before). We’ve been banned from eating at the usual buffet café area, and are encouraged not to be around guest areas… even the gym is quite full during the day – so you can imagine how restless I am already becoming. Gary told me I need to learn to do nothing. Luckily, I have a show today, a Christmas show the 14th, and our last show the 16th, so I will feel a little more useful. Additionally, I’ve now played 3 sets in the lounge areas of the ships since last cruise, and I’m having a great time – but maybe getting myself a little too worked up about it. Yesterday John, the ‘real’ singer/guitarist on board, gave me a popular song book of 1200 songs, which I dove into, and then tried to force a song out of my system… and everything just SUCKED. I want to learn so many covers and write a lot of new material, and of course whenever I really want a song to come to me, I get intense writer’s block. I’m just creating it for myself though, I know because I am very frustrated and feel trapped… which essentially I am. I’m always finding myself wanting what I don’t have at the time – when I have no obligations or nothing to do, I’m creating stress and extra work for myself, and when I’m ultra busy and stressed I want nothing but a free day to lounge around. Maybe I’m really just finding myself at sea… and getting a little too cheesy. To be continued…

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